My little man

We were walking back to the barn tonight after feeding the horses and cats. I was holding Jason's hand and he was doing his darndest to walk all the way back which I appreciate given his weight. Ethan was trotting back and forth in front of us when he stopped and looked up at me and said, "Mommy, I am not a little boy anymore." I smiled since all he keeps talking about lately is how big he is getting and how he is just sure he can drive the car and reach the pedals now. But I bit and I asked him, "so E, what are you then?" He started walking again (with his baby) and said clearly, "I am a MAN." Now, that is cute enough in and of itself but you add in the fact that he is hugging a lion stuffed animal and I had to sleep with him last night for 3 hours due to a thunder storm, and the sheer irony of it is poetic.

He does try to be so grownup. I love my work at home days the most although I miss carrying them into school and getting them settled. He marches in the house those evening while Jeff is still unloading Jason and tells me how many stars he got for behavior at school that day. "I got five stars today" and then he always asks, "What you doing all day, Mommy?" He always notices if I have cleaned up his toys or washed his favorite jammies or white t-shirt. He would wear them everyday if he could. He insists on us eating outside on the porch since it is warm and helps me set the table. He then tries to feed Jason, correct his brother's baby antics and thanks me for the "dee-lish-us" (with his strange Scottish accent) dinner every evening. Well, okay, most evenings. I do have to make stick fish, hot dogs, pork loin or baked chicken for that honor....and yes, need to refrain from serving brussel sprouts or asparagus. I have been doing better lately as reality has set in: it isn't worth the argument and it is okay to microwave chicken fingers when you and the husband want stuffed tilapia. Welcome to sanity.

I still love our bed time routine and laugh at his continued negotiation. "Mommy, will you lay with me 2 minutes?" followed by "No, you not going yet" and then "Mommy, tuck me in." Which, of course, I have to do multiple times since for some reason, I never seem to get it right the first time. Yes, I know I am being manipulated but I let it happen since the days he says he wants to go away from home or go live with Grandma just break my heart. The other sad part is you always have to choose. The kids go to bed at the same time and I can't be in two places as once. We read a story in the living room together and I give them their baths and kiss their faces but I can only tuck one in at night.

I think I need to clone myself so I can do all I want to and not miss a heart beat. So that I can hang onto the smell of the baby, the feeling when I kiss their eye lids, the little hands in mine, their giggles and contagious laughter. And there are the more annoying habits you also adore...the chewing on my nose, climbing on me, repeating things he shouldn't be saying (or hearing from me), kicking me out of bed when I do have to sleep with him, chasing him around the house when he decides he does not want to get dressed (99% of the time). And there are the subtler things like the constant teaching as the vast blue eyes ask "why?" over forty times on the drive home. "What's this place, Mommy?" "Does this take us to Beaver Creek?" "Are we going to meet Grandma at the gas gashion" "I see boating. Are there boats on your side too?" "Where we at?" "What they doing there?" "Why are they not working?" "Why are they working?" "Are we going to the post office?" "Why are we going to the post office?"

Need I go on? Can you teach an almost 3 year old that knows the alphabet and can spell his name to type wikipedia? Why not? "Mommy, don't say why not. You need to answer me when I am talking to you."