October Itinerary

Wow...this month has been busy and stressful but a nice mix of good and bad going on. Bad: we lost one of our horses and I had to go away for business. Good: We had a lot of really fun activities and some quality time before and after the epic trip.

Oct 3rd: We did a Home Depot craft
Oct 10th: Attended a 5k run and IBM appreciation day
Oct 11th: I left for 2 weeks on business to India and China.

Upon my return on the 23rd, we went to the pumpkin patch, decorated pumpkins, hit the fair on the 25th, did a Halloween party at IBM on October 30th and then our usual trick or treating extravaganza at Uncle Mikey's on the 31st. I'm tired just thinking about all that!

We went big on decorations at the Homestead this season too. I spent an entire Saturday putting up decorations...mostly to assay my guilt for leaving and also to ensure they had fun with the season. Jeff loves this holiday and we always really enjoy going all out.
















I brought back some great outfits from India and China for the boys to try and educate them on the life in the countries I was on. A friend in India sent me home with the most gorgeous outfits and I bought these Chinese silk ones at the Pearl Market in Beijing. Ethan actually wore one to a party in Michael's neighborhood on the 25th.

Following Daddy

IBM had a family appreciation day and 5k run today and Ethan trotted off after Daddy early this morning to do the race with him while Jason and I fed horses and came later for the festival part. It had been a rough week since we had to put Pearl, our 15 year old QH down due to lameness and eye problems. I was so grateful to have Jason with me in the barn since it helped temper the loss. I know it has been hard on E too but I was so touched when he saw a shooting star the other night and said, "Look Mommy...Pearl just made it to heaven." He is so incredibly sensitive and wonderful. Please let me remember that on the days he tests us and tries my patience. I don't want to lose that intuitiveness or damage that deep and caring soul.

As for the 5k, Jeff said Ethan did more walking or riding in the jogger than running but they did finish. Ethan then went off to do the kids race and Jeff took some video. When I got there, E was all excited and showed me his medal and how he got one for his brother just because. I was so proud. Ethan told me he fell once but I didn't think much of it until later when I watched the video Jeff took from the end of the kids race. Ethan must have fallen pretty bad cause I can see him in the distance with an adult volunteer holding his arm and walking with him while he limped along. Then he sees the finish line and his Daddy and he starts running and limping as he crosses it on his own. Jeff never noticed but I felt so sad for him that he was hurt and that he had to rely on a stranger. And on the video you see him struggling and walking over to his Dad with his medal and no excitement or pride...just relief he found his family. I wish I could have been there to protect him.

On a brighter note, we had a nice time with all the festivities and enjoyed seeing our friends Tracey and chad with their daughters and Shannan and Ramin with their two children. Ethan rode the carousel with Josh and even Jason ventured a tour.

Tomorrow I leave for a 2 week business trip to India and China and I have left Ethan in charge. Somehow when he is empowered to do things, he handles situations much better. I also bought some cameras for our laptops so I talk to my babies every day. We made chains out of construction paper that we decorated and wrote love messages on. They can pull off one link a day to help them count down to my return. I truly hope this is harder on me than them. Maw Maw and Paw Paw are coming to help for a week and my parents are here but I still hate missing any little thing. You don't get these days back.

Home Depot Rocks

Shannan told me that they do a craft on the first Saturday of every month so today we trotted off to the mall to be handy. The kids had a blast and built firehouse piggy banks that have different compartments for spend, share and save. I primed them with some money and they have carried them around ever since. They even give out these cute aprons and pins for completed projects. Of course neither would wear them although E put his on at the end. They got to glue, nail, and decorate their bank. I can't wait to go back again.

Good night my angels

I want to remember every second of the boys lives and all the special times and am so fearful the memories and feelings will escape me somehow. Thus I blog. Tonight started the same as every night and it was somewhere around the middle when I realized how much I treasured the routine. Bath time with the boys..splashing in the tub, playing with their finger puppets. Then we do some play time or watch a short on TV. Then it is "night night" time and if we are not early enough for him, Jason will come get my hand and tell me it is night night time. He loves his sleep.

After we gather our babies (lovies, stuffed animals, whatever), we head upstairs and pick our reading material and brush our teeth. We all gather in Jason's room for story time and we read 3 - 4 books depending on size. Then we set the rooms up...constellation night lights, music (classical for JT, Dixie Chicks for E), white noise generators, and more. Jason does inventory of his passys and Ethan counts every single baby (and there are a lot of them). He piles them all up underneath him and lays on them. Believe it or not, he will miss even one of the brood. Try washing these things....story for another time that will detail my CIA ops skills. Jason grabs all 3 passys and keeps alternating the one he is using as the mood strikes him. It is always a challenge finding all of them since he throws them across the room in the morning as he awaits his crib rescue team.

Then we divide and conquer. Tonight I took Jason first. We lay on the bed in his room and cuddle....eskimo kisses, butterfly kisses, hugs with big strong arms and good grunting noises. I ask if he played outside and he says "ahh ya" and if he liked school today and he says "ahh ya". Great conversationalist. We snuggle for a bit more and then I tell him it is time to go in the crib. I pick him up (along with all passys and Neigh - his horse) and head to the crib. After depositing the loot, I take him for a spin around the room to his music. We hum along and do spins and dips. He giggles and says "more dip" or "turn more" as we stop spinning. If I stop singing he says "more song". I then dip once more and put him in his crib. We have it made like a toddler bed now that he is older and I tuck him under the covers with Neigh, Teddy and Dog and....don't forget...the 3 passys...one in each fist and one in the mouth. Then I reach in for "mo hugs" or "mo kisses" and try to sneak out. Some nights, like tonight, he puts his hands through the crib slats points at the floor and says "sit." When I comply, he says "hand" and proceeds to take my hand in his and cuddle. I remember stories my Mom told me of how they did this for me when I was a baby. It strikes me as so funny.

Then, I make my escape....usually with a few whimpers and an explanation of how tired I am and how I am going to go to bed too...ahh right. A few more hugs as he lays there (reaching into the crib qualifies as gymnastics at this point since he finally laying down), one more tuck and head for the door.

At this point, we pull the swap. Jeff heads in to say good night to Jason if he is still up (at times we get lucky), and I head into Ethan's room where he tries to convince me to "lay with me" and Jeff gets up from the bed and I take his place. Then, a serious look on his face he asks me, "And how was your day Mommy? Was it stressful?" and we banter back and forth on our happenings. Most nights we make a tent with the covers and I steal a baby or two to see if he notices. He always does. "Stole more Mommy, " he says when he wants me to hide another one for him to find. Getting out of his room is much harder and I know he will be up 4 - 6 times after I leave. He rubs my hair, we hold hands, we sing and every night when I go to leave, he begs me to stay. Tonight he also infomed his Daddy that he was not to leave town. Daddy is due to go away for one night and E is having none of that. I thoght is was cute but of course, I find most things cute. Except screaming and temper tantrums...still not over those. :-)

Daycare party

It was a beautiful day and we got to play hookie today. Since Jason's birthday was yesterday (Sunday), we did his daycare party today with his little friends. We left work early to get there for their regular snack time and took Ethan out of his class to come join us in the toddler room. We had a big chocolate chip cookie and some fruit and crackers. The best part was that they made him a card and sung to him and he was so overwhelmed being the center of attention, that he grabbed his Daddy's hand during the song. He ate all his fruit but as usual, steyed away from the sweets. His little friends and brother were not as picky. When I asked him if he had a nice birthday he said, "ah ya." He also said "happy." He is talking more and more and Ms Namita says he asks why to everything and no other child in the class has started that one yet. He seems to understand the reasons I give when he asks me but is still not talking in sentences. His words are getting so much clearer though and he says Grandma and Grandpa, Legos, backhoe, bike, truck, Ready Set Go, and more.





We left school around 4:30 and went home and played outside for almost two hours. the kids played some more t-ball and Jason worked on throwing a Frisbee and playing some golf. Jeff and I had the jazz music playing and laid on lounge chairs and watched. It was such a good afternoon. After dinner we played with Legos, had some baths and storytime and went to bed. I wish I was 2 again...cool presents, lots of parties on multiple days and a chance to just play and be innocent to everything going on in the world. To dream and to know you are always safe in your parent's arms.

Jason's 2nd Birthday

Jason had the entire week long bday experience. It started on Friday when Mom and Dad took he and Ethan to see Elmo Friday morning and they got to miss school and go out to breakfast. They spent the day with their grandparents and we went over to have dinner with them and the kids couldn't stop talking about the day. They took home balloons the size of a small child and they played with them all night. When we got back home, we built a house in blocks, played Wii and tore apart the living room. I keep asking Jason who's birthday it is this weekend and all he says is "Not me."





Saturday we went and did our weekly shopping and then the boys and I were off to Trey and Becca's for a cookout while Jeff entertained his boys. It was so fun and the kids were great...playing soccer, crochet, Frisbee, horseshoes and more. They wore themselves out but stayed awake the entire ride home. I think that was only due to the fact that they took their shoes and socks off and the Jeep smelled like REALLY bad feet! Who could sleep through that? We had a great time, the food was great, and we got to spend some quality time with my girls. I miss them all so much and am so glad they are part of my son's lives.

Our Sunday (his actual day) started out with breakfast with Aunt Susan. Jeff made apple struesel pancakes and they all had a great time running around outside and having snack on the patio while Mommy filled the wading pool, washed the porches, fed animals, etc and Daddy mowed. The funniest part was when he opened his beautifully wrapped gift from his aunt. Every piece of paper he pulled off of it resulted in a trip to the kitchen trash to throw it out. It took forever to open.

After that, we took baths and relaxed for a bit. And since it was a touch and go decision about me being home for so long, I didn't plan anything big for today. Jeff's family is coming in between the boys b-days so we can actually spend some quality time without a variety of screaming kids. So what we did for today was simply get a tray of pasta, a Bob the Builder cake with matching napkins and plates and just had a quiet day at home with my Godson, Jason's Godfather and my family. It was nice and Jason seemed to do better without being the center of attention at some big event. I got some Bob balloons for him and some cute tool party favors for the 3 kids and called it done. Ethan was a little stressed over not getting presents so the favors really helped.






The guilt you feel all the time as a parent is overwhelming. Guilt at being away, guilt at being home and not planning something big, doubting if he had fun, worried that I didn't have enough friends for him, have enough presents, take enough pictures. And let me tell you, he didn't really care about any of my guilt but loved playing with his brother and eating pasta and eggplant. As usual, he snubbed the cake. :-)

Little boy kisses

Jason has sorta come into his own lately. And by that I mean, he found, read and studied the classic definition on the terrible twos, did some editing to Wikipedia to add his own flair and has made our life...eh...interesting (for lack of a non four letter word I want to post for all to see). Some examples. Wanting food from someone else's plate even though the exact same food is on his, putting up his hand and flicking it with tude to say "go" or even saying "away!" or "enough", saying "no no night night" while emphatically shaking his head. Now this is so out of character since his usual routine is to come get you when he is tired and demand to go in his crib. He is also having huge tantrums where he wants to go to his crib.

Today was a typical no thanks day for Mommy. We went and spent the day with family at Uncle Mikey's and he wanted everyone else but me. He had his normal melt down at dinner, tried to put his feet on the table and didn't want to go bye bye. "No no bye bye" as he kicked and screamed. When we got home I got him dressed for bed while he kicked me and screamed some more, read the kids a book while he wriggled to no end to get away. Then, I went to put him down and he clocked me and refused to say sorry. "No no sorry". Jeff then took him to bed where he screamed for me for 10 minutes.

After I went and said good night to E, I returned to JT to hold him and calm him down. I laid on the bed in his room with him, kissed his little forehead, his nose, and his teary salty eyes while we snuggled and I rubbed his hair. And he started to talk and I prepared for the worst. But all he said was "more kisses." Phew, not sure how much more my ego could have taken today. I sit here now still holding on to his smell and the taste of his tears and hoping it gets me through breakfast tomorrow when he throws something at me or starts screaming again since Ethan got one drop of syrup more than he perceives he should have. Mostly he just makes me eat with my left hand while he sits on my lap and holds on for dear life. I love these days.

To crib or not to crib

So Jason turns 2 years old in 16 days and he is still in his crib. He loves it. When he gets tired he says "ni night" and grabs our hand and heads for the stairs. Once in his room he picks his books or walks to the crib to be lifted in, depending on how tired he is. We put his music on, his turtle constellation light and head out. So easy it is luring me into having another. Some nights we will cuddle on the spare bed in there and lay together. Others, we read "mo book" but always he is happy and sleeps well. There are the times he doesn't want to go to bed but he only says "No no ni night" a few times before he gives in.

Now the morning is less than ideal but it is not due to Jason. He would sleep 12 hours without balking but Ethan is an early riser and he doesn't like to be alone. After 3 years of us telling him to PLEASE stay in his room and not wake us, he has changed his focus to Jason. He goes in, complete with supplies, climbs in the crib with Jason and proceeds to play with the toys while we hear them giggle and screech on the monitor. There is nothing cuter. However, I am still not sleeping in and Jason is getting woken early and I am worried Ethan is opening the child gate and teaching JT to climb out of the crib. He hasn't started yet but you know it is just a matter of time after watching his "bro bro" climb in and out at will.

Anyway, I am planning to move him to a bed but for some reason it feels like I am sending him to college or something. It just reminds me that he is not my baby any more. I want to go back and remember the smell, the toes, the little hand in mine. Now, it is a rare occasion when Jason says "Hand!" and demands I put mine in his.

School pics came out pretty bad this year so I took the kids for haircuts and for Sears portraits last weekend. Here are a few zillion of my favorites!

Going to college

So at dinner last night I was asking E about his day as always. What centers did he play in, what did he do for art, did he work on his letters, and the usual chatter. After a few minutes Ethan announces he is going to college in New York City and when he is done he is going to marry me. So I asked him if he was going by himself and he said no, Daddy and I were going with him. Christopher too. However for some reason, Jason was staying here to rep Daddy at NC State.

In other quirky news, my friend is starting to build her house and the boys make us drive by it every morning and night as we leave and come back from school. They are fascinated by the entire process and keep asking each day why it is not done and she can't live their yet. Maybe it is the same reason you can't go to NYC just yet...it needs time to grow. And really, I am not in a rush.